Between Two Crossroads

Question:

So I have dated a guy for over 3 years.. and we did have disagreements and fighs but our connection was always there. I honestly thought this was the last person I would spend my life with. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. Well everything seemed great until I had to move to our home town, which he would later go to 10 months later after he graduated. Well during this ten months was absolutely awful. We fought all the time mainly because we weren't around each other. Then about 6 months after I left I went out of town for Thanksgiving and I get back and he invites me to go to his deer lease with him and his friends. Well being the stubborn hard headed person I was I asked if just me and him could hang out because I hadn't seen him in forever. So after our little fight I decide to just go to my house. I then look on facebook and this girl who is known for being a slut is tagged with him at his lease. THe next morning I get a text that says, "I don't think we are going to work out." Well turns out he had cheated on me because he had been so drunk, but I didn't find this out till a few days ago. So after this whole deal of him doing that he tried to work on things with me again, but I think he knew he lied so it obviously wasn't working. He told me we could work things out when he moved back, but this just turned into even more of a disaster because I think he knew he lied. Well this summer has been so on and off he came over one night and he told me he missed me and then that was the last time I saw him. We talk over text every day but he didn't want to see me. I asked him if we would ever get back together and he said "i don't know". This is what he said yesterday before I asked about him cheating on me that night. Now today he has said nothing. I love him so much, but I am so hurt. I don't know what to do.


Answer/Consultations:

Hey Dear..
I can really feel how terrible it is right now for you..I'm so sorry...
K here is the thing what we are going to do.Currently you're at a T-Junction..One to turn left,where you say no,just forget about it. And the other one turn right,where you can put your faith into it.
First of all,before we can proceed with the path decision,i want you to think.
Did he say 'i don't think we are going to work out' because he is drunk and he doesn't mean it? Or does he says that because he really meant it? We have to confirm on that one first. If he is drunk,then probably he never meant on what he did. If he wasn't,then he is in deep trouble.

All of these started when both of you start to get a distance between each other. To have a long-distance relationship ain't that easy honey... There must be trust (TRUST IS THE FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP) and also strength to keep everything under control.
PLUS,10 months is woah..long...A guy naturally want a lady to be by her side most of the time if possible.
Same goes to a lady which want a companion/partner to be with her in every single way.

BUT! a guy is a bit different,66% of male according to research,starts to find new partner if the current partner starts to drift away or maybe the partner is not around them most of the time.
Be careful..
When a guy says 'no'.. don't care how emotional he is,it means no. But when a woman says 'no' during under emotional pressure or influence, then the 'no' is not real. in your case,a guy says 'i don't know',he really meant it..it means he does not put hope on you anymore. Yes,it hurts to read this.
I've been in your shoes before,and i know how this will turn out.
I read your email over and over again,i realized that,you're one loyal girl..and you really want to be with him..you love him with all your heart,and there is always a special seat in your heart for him.
You care about him,and you really want some alone time with him.just you and him,without his friends or anyone else. That's how romantic you are sweety... To hell with that slut tagged in facebook,you are worth a million times better than her. She only know how to attract a guy when that guy is drunk,but you on the other hand,had that guy like a charm.when he is fully rational.
You are one in a million,not an average girl. I do not want to be the one who tells you what to do.
It is up to you. Remember i told you earlier about choosing the paths?
Now,if you're under emotional pressure,take a time out,have some personal space,calm yourself down and try not to contact that guy. give it a day or two will do. Why do i ask you to do this?
Because it will make you to come to your senses and think properly,second,it will make both of you miss each other more (if he does),and lastly,both of you will appreciate each other.
Like they say,you don't know what you have till it's gone.
If you have a chance with him again,go ahead,do it,give it another shot. Believe in second chances.

But if its a no,contact me.
Think properly,calm yourself down,and do contact me at anytime you want for any updates and possibly suggestions.

Sign That She Loves You?

Question:

Dear Silencer,
I would just want to ask a titsy bit of question. Well,i love this lady..she is 21 years old..while i'm 20..
Despite my younger age..both of us don't seem to be awkward in almost about everything.
We are very open..we are also very close indeed.
And yes..i do love her with all my heart..lovely as it sounds..she does not show any sign that she loves me or maybe have feelings...But however,i do notice that once in a while,when we are close,her hands is like getting closer and closer to mine..until the skin contacted..and then once in a while she will sit beside me and when she sits,she makes sure that he leg touches mine.i'm not sure if its on purpose or its just nothing.
She doesn't get close to any guys or walk with them..just me~ When we walk together,we walk closely..when i'm down..she is always there.I mean like a friend would always there for you right?
And i saw,when i switch class,she'll be very down..i had to because my lecturer told me to..
Lastly,I always hang out at her house with her friends till late at night.It is a girls' house,and i am the only guy that could enter!
Confuse? yes,yes i am Silencer.
Well..i hope you could tell me if she loves me or perhaps have feelings towards me..because i want to confess my feelings towards her as well..
I react on how she react towards me. Sometime when she ask 'i want a hug' in a joking way..i'll say 'your head!'..i do not show my soft side towards her,but i always make her laugh and we are getting closer day by day..

P/S: she is my best friend!

With love from Malaysia.
Thank You!


Answer:

Wow! Honestly,I had this same kind of experience before.But nevermind,i'll tell you the result after this about me and that lady.K,what i wanna ask to you is,you're blind aren't you?
You can see that she actually have feelings from you.I bet she is the type that she does not show her feelings easily.Maybe what happen to you is that she slips out accidently because she feels comfortable with you.
Or maybe,she wants you to see the signs for yourself and love her more.
I am guessing she is not ready to accept you yet.But in time she will.
K kid,i'm going to help you in this,the signs that is obvious now is:
-She wants to get closer to you.Body contacts means she feels comfy with you and she have that love for you.
-She doesn't walk or get close to any guy.ONLY YOU! Feel lucky man!
-I know,you know,and we all know,when a girl wants to be with you,they'll stay close to you!
-Sharing with her will make both of you closer. But careful! Don't share too much!
-she feel sad when you had to go away to another class.she don't want things to change!
-You're the only guy that enter the house!

So you see,at least 3 signs is there.well there are more,but it's different depending on the culture and religion aspect in your country.
But the one i can see i'll tell..do keep me updated k?
You'll get her i believe.It's just a matter of time.That's all.
One day,she will break it out that she actually loves you.In the mean time,act normal,act just like how you are now.Do not change too much,if you have problems please tell her,at least she is alert for any changes.
Go! Go! Go!

Regards,
Your Silencer.

Do contact me and email me about problems or story you have!
 I will help you out!
I do respect privacy! Do not worry!
kaminaridestiny@gmail.com

''I just wanna know

If you feel the same 

Where u at

Where u at

(Where u at)''

-Tae Yang,Where You At-

Kaminaridestiny@gmail.com

Your Boy leaves you hanging & you love someone else?

Question


Dear Silencer,
I am currently in a relationship and whenever my friends ask me,'hey do you have a boyfriend?' I would reply no.Why do i reply no? It's because my boyfriend is like as if he does not even exist in my life. It was all flowery and beautiful during THE BEGINNING! After that,everything starts to be flat and gloomy.
He doesn't contact me that often.Just maybe 2 text message per week! What did i do to deserve this! He left me hanging for 7 months! 7 GOD DAMN months! nothing! when i asked him please let me go,he won't let me! What is he trying to do? please oh please tell me!
Guys are always like this? Beautiful in the beginning of a relationship,after that,then only they show their true colors? Please,if he want to leave me hanging this way,all i want is just for him to let me go.
I'm in love with someone,but if he doesn't let me go,i feel guilty loving that person.
That person takes care of me so well. It's already 4 months since he took care of me,and i'm so happy.And i believe that this guy would be the one that wont leave my side like this son of a b****.
Silencer sir,please tell me what should i do?

Answer:

Relax my young lady,i think you wrote this in a very angry mood.
K firstly,did you do any mistake? The way you write as if like it's all his fault. And i'm feeling the same way as well! xD
Listen,yes it's true a guy would do 1001 things when they try to court a girl making them attracted to them by looking at their charms and also kindness.But my dear,some guys,or maybe more than half of the guys in the world,only do all of these nice flowery things in the beginning of the relationship,or pre-relationship (when he was trying to have you). After a while,they will show their true colors and that time you'll be like 'good god,why did i even met you and accept you?!'. That sort of question will just simply pop out.
About him leaving you hanging?
I suggest you move on,if he leaves you just like that,like i said in the previous post,LOVE YOURSELF before YOU LOVE OTHERS. Are you happy? Are you laughing with him? or are you always laughing with the current guy you're hanging out with now? You can see! There is no need to feel guilty because if a guy doesn't give you any attention and show that he cares,do you want him to do that as well after you're married to him? he just go to work,or maybe he has an outstation project for few weeks and he doesn't even call you.Whatever reason he gives you for not contacting you is not acceptable! Why?! don't tell me you cannot steal just 5 minutes of your 24 hours just to call or text saying how much he loves you and misses you?
Bloody hell!
Yes,maybe you think it'll be disloyalty to do such a thing,but one thing,before you want to get married and really set up a family,you need to choose the best out of the best among all.the guy that could provide you a great future,even if you're not loaded with cash but you are still happy with him every single heavenly day of your life. OR do you wish for a guy that gives a reason and ignore you? It's not called disloyal,but it's called choosing what's best for yourself. It's you who is going to live your life.
He crossed the border line,he don't make you happy,that's it,time to fly.
I can accept a month or two,but 7 months? that's just way to much.
Get a grip,be brave and dump him! no matter what!
Because we are scare that he might have a motive of,he is trying to get another girl,but the girl needs time,so what he would do is,if the girl accept him,you're gone,if the girl doesn't,then he will roll back down to you.-typical guy these days.
So,be happy,you know what's best for you.If the new guy truly loves you,then please,he deserve a chance of loving you and you to love him as well.
Like i always say,
Hanabuteo yeolkkaji modeun ge da han suwi (From one to ten, everything is one level above)

Good Luck!

''Hanabuteo yeolkkaji modeun ge da han suwi
Morae beolpan wireul michin deusi ttwieobwado geotteunhan uri''

- TOP Big Bang,Fantastic Baby

Contact me via email at:
kaminaridestiny@gmail.com

Having a Hot-Tempered Boyfriend? Leave or Stay?

Question:

Dear Silencer,
I read your blog and i'm interested in asking for consultations.
I am 23 years old lady and currently still a student doing my degree.
I have a boyfriend and yes i do love him very dearly.But somehow,lately for the past few months he was so hot temper till today.Just a slight mistake and BOOM! there goes the day out the window.
I've been holding myself back and i tend to be the one who back off everytime we quarrel.I feel like giving him a piece of my mind,and tell him that he is waaaayyy too much.
However,i do not know how and when to tell him.
I know deep down inside i still love him,even my heart still love him,my mind will say that i hate him.
I'm confused dear silencer.This not only had happen once or twice,but A LOT of TIMES!
I really need advice.I don't mind breaking up this relationship because he is just being way too much already.But half of me is still 50:50 cause i still think about his family.they love me so dearly.


Thanks.

Answer:
Listen my dear,
It is great that you still love him..You're a student aren't you? Firstly i would like to know that if this hot tempered attitude of his affects your study? Won't you feel stress and your performance in academic will gradually fall in time? From the way i see things i can see that he is hoping for you to be perfect..(which none of us,humans,can do it.).
If you wish to tell him,then please go ahead and tell him.because for a relationship to be great,both side need to know the problems and take out the dissatisfaction between the both of you. Then,things will only start to get better.You're on the fence right now aren't you?
As a consultant,i suggest you STOP this relationship as soon as possible.Why?
Firstly,you're still a student.Education is far more important than this relationship.
Second,With his hot temper issues,he might scold you like a mad bull for now..and i won't be surprised if he lays a hand on you in the future.I was a hot-tempered person before and i know.
Third,before you think about others,you have to think about yourself.AND before you love others,you have to love yourself.If you really love yourself,then let him go for the sake of yourself my dear.
Lastly,have you ever think,if you ever get married with him,will you be happy with him scolding you?
Will you be happy whenever he beats you? Can he set a good example to your children whenever he scolds you infront of them? Think! Think for the future. Guys always have this concept that they follow,'They won't know what they have until it's gone'. If he can change after the break up,it is worth considering to take him back.If you don't trust him anymore,then it's best to just stay away from him. Remember,love yourself before you love others.
You can be strong,i know. If you can stay up to this long with him banging your ears,i believe that you are a very strong lady indeed. It might hurt to dump him in the beginning,but with the help of friends and family,it'll be as smooth as a silk! You'll feel rejuvenate!

Cheers!

'I Love You,Baby i'm not a monster'

Chapter 1: The Aviation of Emotions

Woman,one of the beings that could bring a man down.And also bring down an empire.
Some said that these beings are from Venus.
Nevertheless that we,the men,need them to survive and continue with our life.
Always remember that different people have different opinion on their ideal lady in life.
Some wants their partner to be the dominant one..And some even want their partner to be adorable and cute most of the time.There are the one who choose their partner because of luxury and also because of their image.
To be honest,i prefer someone who is playing hard to get.
The best part of it is we will be wondering.And there will be a question in your mind all the time. In example,'Is she bloody interested in me?' or perhaps, 'she always show that she wants to be close but she doesn't want to admit that she loves me..Why?'.
K,not only man have his ego but also women as well.
Some choose to see a man on his knees to win her love.All men know when we are on our knees,it means we put down our ego and also pride aside in order to win someone.Cruel to some guys,but it is very romantic.
In my life,there is one girl which plays hard to get.I always try to get closer to her.I always try to win her..I do prone to wonder,she loves me or she does not?
I asked her a few times,'do you love me?'. And she'll reply 'hrmmm i don't know.'
Whenever she calls me 'dear',that is the most happiest thing you could ever hear.
Because it is soooooo hard to hear her saying that.
And when she sits next to me and our shoulder rubs each other,you feel like you want to shout and say 'THANK YOU GOD!'.
When you're with her,you feel so opened up,you feel so excited and you feel nervous at the same time.You'll feel good whenever each time you make her laugh. Whenever you see her rolling down in tears because she was laughing so hard.
Still the question plays in your head..She loves me or not? The signs are there,but verbally she won't say it out. The game is still on till today..

'She loves me? She loves me not?'

Tell me please!

She has a boyfriend but you still want her!

Okay...So someone emailed me regarding a problem..i am just going to copy paste what he said alright?

Dear Doc,
Currently i'm having a huge crush for my best friend (a female).
We always hang out at the campus and we always have meal together.
At first,i wanted to see her INTEREST LEVEL towards me.
But after i knew that she had a boyfriend. It hurts to the maximum.
There was a day when she open up to me and talk about her boyfriend being all ignorant.
She already gone into a relationship for 2 years. She is a muslim,they believe in karma.
What goes around comes around. Therefore,she doesn't have the courage to dump him.
And even when she asked,the guy is like holding on to her and leave her hanging.
In my point of view,i think there is no point having this kind of boyfriend.
Sometimes i hate her because she don't want to dump her idiotic boyfriend.
Instead,she just keep hanging on and now both of us are getting closer each day.
Is there any hope doc? Her boyfriend is ignorant.He doesn't care about her.
Should i continue on her? Should i give up? Or should me and her just remain as best friends?
I'm 21 years old. And i really want to marry this angel.


I replied:

Hey man,
I know how it feels and i've been through it..it hurts yes i know.Staying in the 'friend zone' for too long might leave you with a scar you would never forget and you will regret.. Yes of course there is hope..Whenever there's darkness,light will always be there. Don't forget about your Creator..He can help you..a lot!
First of all,from what i see..you are not giving up on her..thus,there is still hope of course.
Hope only disperse whenever you give up on something or someone.
Second,have you ever asked her to dump her boyfriend?
Well,i hope not because that will give her a bad impression of you.
What i can suggest you to do,my brave gentleman ,is :
-Play slow. Do not force her to do something and go with her flow.
-Have patients. Wait for the right moment,if she is meant for you,and if she truly loves you,she will figure her way out. Because ladies do not want to end up marrying the wrong person.
-Show to her that you are far better than her current boyfriend. BUT do not over do it. She will think you're being a jerk.
-Be there for her most of the time because since her boyfriend is being ignorant,she will choose the man who always by her side through ups and downs.
-Listen to her feelings and wipe her tears.be sweet and also show that you care a lot about her.
-do not show your interest level,act cool. it's never wrong to say 'i love you' every night because she will feel loved by you.
-As time passes by,show her your confident and leadership skills. Show her that you can be the alpha male.
-Always make her comfortable and smile!
-She will eventually see that you're the right guy instead of her boyfriend.

We learn to be mature through the pain we learned in life.Whatever she says as her final answer,respect it.because if you rebel against it,you'll lose every single hope there is. If you learn to accept,there is still 1% she is still counting on you to be the one for her.

For any question in your love life,please do email me at kaminaridestiny@gmail.com

Epilogue I

First of all..everyone knows that every story there's always a hero,a law breaker and non the less..the most unfavorable of all..the silent one...

This story starts in a country with a decent class called Malaysia.

There is a lady which i'm so interested in. We studied together..we even cook for each other sometimes..

We go to college every single day together.. there is never a day that we missed out lunch together except for semester breaks. Just imagine,you're spending time with the person you love so dearly...

You joke around..you even have romantic moment at times..go for a movie and seat in a couple seat..BUT! you're not a couple..so how's that suppose to be?

She is fair..tall..almost as tall as me...she love to smile (that is the most beautiful part in her)..A happy go lucky girl.. It'll be unusual for her to be angry...

So let's see..i'm single..yes i am...but she's not single...she already have someone with her...

But that person doesn't seem to contact her often..when i meant not often,he'll only contact her maybe once every two weeks.. As for me..i'm the silent one...the lone runner.. Every single moment i see her..i smile...

But..that smile can hide a thousand pain doesn't it?

''Will this love match the best out of 3?''