So I have dated a guy for over 3 years.. and we did have disagreements and fighs but our connection was always there. I honestly thought this was the last person I would spend my life with. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. Well everything seemed great until I had to move to our home town, which he would later go to 10 months later after he graduated. Well during this ten months was absolutely awful. We fought all the time mainly because we weren't around each other. Then about 6 months after I left I went out of town for Thanksgiving and I get back and he invites me to go to his deer lease with him and his friends. Well being the stubborn hard headed person I was I asked if just me and him could hang out because I hadn't seen him in forever. So after our little fight I decide to just go to my house. I then look on facebook and this girl who is known for being a slut is tagged with him at his lease. THe next morning I get a text that says, "I don't think we are going to work out." Well turns out he had cheated on me because he had been so drunk, but I didn't find this out till a few days ago. So after this whole deal of him doing that he tried to work on things with me again, but I think he knew he lied so it obviously wasn't working. He told me we could work things out when he moved back, but this just turned into even more of a disaster because I think he knew he lied. Well this summer has been so on and off he came over one night and he told me he missed me and then that was the last time I saw him. We talk over text every day but he didn't want to see me. I asked him if we would ever get back together and he said "i don't know". This is what he said yesterday before I asked about him cheating on me that night. Now today he has said nothing. I love him so much, but I am so hurt. I don't know what to do.
Answer/Consultations:
Hey Dear..
I can really feel how terrible it is right now for you..I'm so sorry...
K here is the thing what we are going to do.Currently you're at a T-Junction..One to turn left,where you say no,just forget about it. And the other one turn right,where you can put your faith into it.
First of all,before we can proceed with the path decision,i want you to think.
Did he say 'i don't think we are going to work out' because he is drunk and he doesn't mean it? Or does he says that because he really meant it? We have to confirm on that one first. If he is drunk,then probably he never meant on what he did. If he wasn't,then he is in deep trouble.
All of these started when both of you start to get a distance between each other. To have a long-distance relationship ain't that easy honey... There must be trust (TRUST IS THE FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP) and also strength to keep everything under control.
PLUS,10 months is woah..long...A guy naturally want a lady to be by her side most of the time if possible.
Same goes to a lady which want a companion/partner to be with her in every single way.
BUT! a guy is a bit different,66% of male according to research,starts to find new partner if the current partner starts to drift away or maybe the partner is not around them most of the time.
Be careful..
When a guy says 'no'.. don't care how emotional he is,it means no. But when a woman says 'no' during under emotional pressure or influence, then the 'no' is not real. in your case,a guy says 'i don't know',he really meant it..it means he does not put hope on you anymore. Yes,it hurts to read this.
I've been in your shoes before,and i know how this will turn out.
I read your email over and over again,i realized that,you're one loyal girl..and you really want to be with him..you love him with all your heart,and there is always a special seat in your heart for him.
You care about him,and you really want some alone time with him.just you and him,without his friends or anyone else. That's how romantic you are sweety... To hell with that slut tagged in facebook,you are worth a million times better than her. She only know how to attract a guy when that guy is drunk,but you on the other hand,had that guy like a charm.when he is fully rational.
You are one in a million,not an average girl. I do not want to be the one who tells you what to do.
It is up to you. Remember i told you earlier about choosing the paths?
Now,if you're under emotional pressure,take a time out,have some personal space,calm yourself down and try not to contact that guy. give it a day or two will do. Why do i ask you to do this?
Because it will make you to come to your senses and think properly,second,it will make both of you miss each other more (if he does),and lastly,both of you will appreciate each other.
Like they say,you don't know what you have till it's gone.
If you have a chance with him again,go ahead,do it,give it another shot. Believe in second chances.
But if its a no,contact me.
Think properly,calm yourself down,and do contact me at anytime you want for any updates and possibly suggestions.
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