''Listen Baby Girl,
You Know That I'll Never Give You Away,
Will I Ever Stop Waiting No Way,
It'll Be The Same In My World,
I'm Your Boy,You're My Girl.''
- JUN.K
At the end of May, I ran into my high school sweetheart that I dated 6 years ago. We dated for four a half years while in high school and broke up before I went to college in another city. Well, I ran into him at the end of May and we instantly hit it off. My situation is a little complicated because I am a 23 year old single mom now. And I am not what society thinks of as a "young, single mom" . I am in anesthesia school to become a nurse anesthesist and have my priorities in line. Anyways, we started talking and hanging out after we ran into each other. He told me he had really strong feelings for me and wanted to see where things went. I felt really uneasy at the time about getting into a relationship. I have always thought that it would be a challenge for me to find someone who was accepting of my situation at my age of 23. So I explained to him that I was not looking for a relationship but I would enjoy hanging out. A week later after a date he tells me that he loves me, and to be honest, I loved him too. I could see a future with him, if he went back to school and finished up college (because I have worked very hard and that is a deal breaker to me), and quit his bad habit of smoking cigarettes. But I was in love with his personality and the way he treated me. Well, we had a wonderful summer together and were able to spend a lot of time together because my son's father had him a lot during the summer. After dating him for a month, I decided that I felt that he was serious enough about me to meet my son. He was so wonderful with him and many times would come over and just spend time hanging out with the two of us as if there was no where else he would rather be. He even invited my son and I to go to his lake house with him for the day while his family was there, which I thought was pretty remarkable, because I was worried he would be embarrassed or scared to bring my child and me around them. He finally asked if we could make this a relationship, and I said yes .. because he had won my trust. Once summer ended, my school semester started back up and I haven't had a ton of time to devote to him. In fact, we were only seeing each other 2-3 days a week, but it was working out ok and he said that yes it was hard, but it was worth trying. Well, last Monday night, he was acting a little sketchy. He usually calls me when he gets off of work and before he goes to bed, but he didn't. So I texted him, and he explained that he had one of his friends over from work to play video games. I stayed up just to work on school and really because I thought I might hear from him. Well, at 1:30 am when I hadn't heard anything, I tried calling him. No answer. So I left a message, saying "You are being so sketchy! I hope you do the right thing and call me tomorrow!" but I didn't say it in a mean, or "your in trouble" tone, I say the word "sketchy" all the time, and to be honest it was more of a joke than anything. I mean I wasn't REALLY worried that he was doing anything bad, I was more just wanting to talk to my boyfriend to be honest. Well, I got a call back from him thirty minutes later explaining he had fallen asleep on the couch accidently. I just said "mm hmm." He asked if I was mad. I said, no, that I am just used to hearing from him and I stayed up to see if he was going to call and was sad when he didn't. Well suddenly, a side of my boyfriend that I had never heard came out and said "I don't understand why you have been chewing me out for thirty minutes." He sounded really mad. I said, "30 minutes? More like 30 seconds and I am not chewing you out." I was SO calm. I got irritated and just said, Ill talk to you tomorrow, and I hung up. Well the next day I never heard from him (he usually texts me in the morning) so that night once I got out of school I called him and he didn't answer. So I texted him and said, "I am not sure what is going on but I would really appreciate if we could discuss it. If your feelings have changed then ok, but we need to settle this one way or the other so lets please talk about it." He said back, "Im not sure what is going on, last night just made me start thinking about what I need in my life right now. Thats not saying that I don't want to be with you, I am just trying to figure things out." Well, at the time I had nothing to say so I let it go for the night. The next night I said, "I am sorry for overreacting on Monday. I love you." And got no answer. The next day I didn't text him at all. Then on Friday, I said "Can we please talk about this? I am just so confused." No answer. So then I tried calling, and left a voicemail about how I would be sad if it was over, and certainly hoped we could work on things, but I would much rather him just tell me then keep dragging it out and that I would be ok either way. I told him that I didn't know if we were still together or not, and have just been confused by all of this. I haven't heard anything from him since and I am literally going crazy. I have know him since I was 14 ... Have had so many life experiences with him from being young and in love to doing things with my son, and talking about me having his kids, and taking me to pick out a puppy for him with him. Is the fact that he isn't responding to me enough for me to tell myself that it must be over? Please PLEASE tell me how to handle this. Im broken hearted.
Dear Viewers,first of all.i am so sorry i've been out for quite some time.i was busy handling few stuffs along the way..there's another 9 unanswered emailed.But no worries,i'll handle one by one.
K for this one.
Answer:
Hey..how are you my dear? Are you okay? Hope you will be after reading this.
First of all..Why do you want to think about others opinion?
We can never judge people that way. So what if the society think. You are who you are. You're no one else but yourself.do you want to be someone else? Wearing a mask is not a good thing.. Because people won't accept you for who you really are. Be brave,have some self-confidence in yourself! Every morning you walk to that mirror and say,'i am who i am!'. Even if the society rejects you,there will always be a group of people who truly loves you for who you are.
Moving on:
''So I explained to him that I was not looking for a relationship but I would enjoy hanging out.''
This was the trigger that sets everything on. We may say that we are uneasy for the first few times,but after a while we feel comfortable don't we? Even I myself,the first few times was hard,but at last I feel so comfortable with someone. It's a normal situation. My dear,are you sure that he will quit smoking? If you trust him with all there is,then it's okay,but if you feel a bit shaky..might as well don't ask him to promise something that he can never do. ATTENTION TO ALL READERS! (Tips: Smoking is bad for health!)
I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed summer with him..I'm sure memories will be there all the time.
You see,when you are too used to see each other,even a tiny separation will give a big impact on both of you. You spent the whole summer with him, but when the semester begins,it's a bit awkward because it was not like how you started.This one,you have to handle it pace by pace. Slowly or gradually reduce. But do not over reduce it! It'll be futile of course.
How to handle this:
First of all,do you know the rules of love? If we chase or tend to get closer to someone too much,that he/she will run away. But if we tend to just stay calm and relax and not finding him,he'll come to us.
From the way I see things,sweety,he has these symptoms of 'cheating'. I never say its true and i never say its wrong. But I cannot avoid the feeling that he is cheating on you.
''So I explained to him that I was not looking for a relationship but I would enjoy hanging out.''
This was the trigger that sets everything on. We may say that we are uneasy for the first few times,but after a while we feel comfortable don't we? Even I myself,the first few times was hard,but at last I feel so comfortable with someone. It's a normal situation. My dear,are you sure that he will quit smoking? If you trust him with all there is,then it's okay,but if you feel a bit shaky..might as well don't ask him to promise something that he can never do. ATTENTION TO ALL READERS! (Tips: Smoking is bad for health!)
I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed summer with him..I'm sure memories will be there all the time.
You see,when you are too used to see each other,even a tiny separation will give a big impact on both of you. You spent the whole summer with him, but when the semester begins,it's a bit awkward because it was not like how you started.This one,you have to handle it pace by pace. Slowly or gradually reduce. But do not over reduce it! It'll be futile of course.
How to handle this:
First of all,do you know the rules of love? If we chase or tend to get closer to someone too much,that he/she will run away. But if we tend to just stay calm and relax and not finding him,he'll come to us.
From the way I see things,sweety,he has these symptoms of 'cheating'. I never say its true and i never say its wrong. But I cannot avoid the feeling that he is cheating on you.
You need to know this,a guy that have someone else behind you have this:
1) When you text him,he'll reply without any interest or he'll reply a neutral answer.
2) He doesn't text you much like how he used to be. BUT! this may be excused if he has a new job/position/continuing his studies.
3)He will gradually decrease in interest to text you or even call.
4) He's sketchy!
5)Woman will have this sense that something is wrong somewhere. ONLY WOMAN!
6) He doesn't reply or he'll just reply 'busy text later'. Then you wait,nothing comes in your mobile.
7)Lastly,HE FADES (it means he doesn't find you anymore)
Next,DO NOT i repeat DO NOT show that you're weak! Do not show you're mentally stressed,it'll just strive them away slowly. But! if you show that you are strong,then there's chances that he wants you back.
I know..ladies are being of emotion,they are soft and gentle..But no matter what everyone should be strong!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! - Kelly Clarkson
Just let him be for the time being,do not text him,do not call just for two to three days.
CROSSROADS:
If he finds you,then talk to him.
If he doesn't finds you,test him by telling,'that's it,i cannot take this anymore!'
Then you can write all the memories that both of you had with your son during summer.
you must write with an expression that it'll be the last message. DO NOT SHOW ANY SAD SMILEY FACE! and please,i beg please,write it with your heart even if it will make you cry while you're writting it.
Lastly,I'll be straight to the point for you my dear,
The conclusion is either,he is going to be chasing back for you. OR he won't reply a single thing. It means he already have someone else.
Keep me updated,we here always have plenty of time to handle this matter.
Most important:
1)Stay calm
2)Think straight
3) Always hang out with your other friends to keep you at least smiling.
4)Have faith in him for the time being
5)Be positive that he'll come back to you.
6)Be stronger and improve yourself.
7)Spend more time with the others around you.
8)Avoid thinking of him too much.
9) Be yourself and don't show you're sad to others (except close friends and family)
10) The most important people who would be your support now is Friends and Family.
1) When you text him,he'll reply without any interest or he'll reply a neutral answer.
2) He doesn't text you much like how he used to be. BUT! this may be excused if he has a new job/position/continuing his studies.
3)He will gradually decrease in interest to text you or even call.
4) He's sketchy!
5)Woman will have this sense that something is wrong somewhere. ONLY WOMAN!
6) He doesn't reply or he'll just reply 'busy text later'. Then you wait,nothing comes in your mobile.
7)Lastly,HE FADES (it means he doesn't find you anymore)
Next,DO NOT i repeat DO NOT show that you're weak! Do not show you're mentally stressed,it'll just strive them away slowly. But! if you show that you are strong,then there's chances that he wants you back.
I know..ladies are being of emotion,they are soft and gentle..But no matter what everyone should be strong!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! - Kelly Clarkson
Just let him be for the time being,do not text him,do not call just for two to three days.
CROSSROADS:
If he finds you,then talk to him.
If he doesn't finds you,test him by telling,'that's it,i cannot take this anymore!'
Then you can write all the memories that both of you had with your son during summer.
you must write with an expression that it'll be the last message. DO NOT SHOW ANY SAD SMILEY FACE! and please,i beg please,write it with your heart even if it will make you cry while you're writting it.
Lastly,I'll be straight to the point for you my dear,
The conclusion is either,he is going to be chasing back for you. OR he won't reply a single thing. It means he already have someone else.
Keep me updated,we here always have plenty of time to handle this matter.
Most important:
1)Stay calm
2)Think straight
3) Always hang out with your other friends to keep you at least smiling.
4)Have faith in him for the time being
5)Be positive that he'll come back to you.
6)Be stronger and improve yourself.
7)Spend more time with the others around you.
8)Avoid thinking of him too much.
9) Be yourself and don't show you're sad to others (except close friends and family)
10) The most important people who would be your support now is Friends and Family.
Your son...I'm sure he never wants to see his mom sad..He loves you so much as you're the mom.
I'm sure you love him as well..Ever wonder when your son ask 'mommy why are you crying..'.
It'll be so touching. So keep your faith up!
You are a strong mom,a strong single mom that know what she is capable of doing.
Never let any man bring you down,because there is no man that could be as strong as a single mom.
With love and soul,
-Your personal consultant.
Contact me Via kaminaridestiny@gmail.com
I'm sure you love him as well..Ever wonder when your son ask 'mommy why are you crying..'.
It'll be so touching. So keep your faith up!
You are a strong mom,a strong single mom that know what she is capable of doing.
Never let any man bring you down,because there is no man that could be as strong as a single mom.
With love and soul,
-Your personal consultant.
Contact me Via kaminaridestiny@gmail.com
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