Argument in a Relationship

'Shut up!' , 'No! You shut up!'. 'Don't you dare shut me up!.'

Does this always between you and your partner? My My,it's definitely unhealthy. Therefore, today's topic is going to be about: 

What does argument means? Well basically,argument means an oral disagreement. You come out with an idea he does not agree with they way you think, he say it's a go, but you say it's a no. then both of you will start to say this and that even up to a certain extend that both of you get so pissed off with each other and hell breaks lose. That is an example of an unhealthy argument.

Ladies and gentleman, deep down inside both of you love each other, but when anger take control over you, that love just fade away. It's best to handle this thing with full precaution. And yes i have to admit that guys are the main key in an argument. A guy can think better even under emotional stress compared to the opposite sex. That is why guy will play the key role in an argument.

Question: Why does a guy play a big role?

1. Guys are the stronger sex. They can handle a situation better than a girl.
2. Girl tend to follow their emotion rather than guy. Now that is bad huh?
3. Girl have a hard time to control themselves, therefore a guy must be there to calm her down or perhaps coax her. It's rare to see a girl who can really calm herself down without any help.
4. Most of the gentleman can learn to tolerate and being more understanding when they know that his partner is not happy with something.
5. For a guy to coax a girl, hey isn't that sweet?

Having an argument actually is not all bad. But it is actually helping the couple to understand each other more. Sometimes there are actually things that we wish to say but we cannot say it, that word will come out or slip out during  the argumentation process. As long as we avoid critical issue such as family and race, and also we must always give and take. When you have have such a high level of tolerance it will reward you heavenly in the years to come. 
Usually after an argument, couple will tend to say sorry to each other and make up for the things that they did wrong. See? Both of you will get closer, and the love will just BLOOMS! Don't do it too often, IF you argue too often that's a bad sign my friend.

FAQ:

Having an argument,good or bad?

Answer: Yes it is good if we keep it in a proper and not too often. It's bad if its too frequent and no give and take between the two. One of them must know when to stop the argument and patch it back.

My Boyfriend/girlfriend don't want to quit when it comes to an argument.

Answer: One of you will learn sooner or later. But if he or she is so hard head, then it'll be tough. Talk to your partner during a perfect time then speak out what you feel about his/her hardiness.

Argument just will cause damage in the relationship?

Answer: Not really..Just as long as you know how to handle and knowing the limit of the argument. Talk not only about what you're not satisfied of but also talk what is there to be change in order for the relationship to be better. Say something which can make your partner think.

Should I cry during an argument?

Answer: Sure,why not? It'll soften up the other side of the relationship. Put your ego aside for a moment.

So, the conclusion is,argument is good as long as it's healthy, but it's bad and may not be good in a relationship if it's unhealthy. You choose?

Love-
Silencer

Any reader or follower of this blog can ask me absolutely anything about relationships at:
Kaminaridestiny@gmail.com

S-T-R-E-S-S [Stress]

Stress!!

Stress,in simple terms means you feel tense in coping too much!

Today's Topic: Stress May Effect Relationships!

Stress may effect our relationship? Of course it can! Few studies shows that stress may cause complications in life. Therefore,stress is a big NO in a relationship. We may think or say that, 'Ah no matter,i can handle stress.' K don't get too comfy with yourself. Stress might just come and pops you up. There are plenty of bad side effects in stress. But since i am THE SILENCER, or Relationship Consultant, I will tell what can STRESS do to your love life.

Stress Effects on Relationship:

-Causing the relationship to slowly crumble.

-The stressed out partner may say things that he/she does not want to say.

-The stressed out partner will be harsh till the love is not in the air anymore.

-Break up may occurs after certain tension because the stressed out partner cannot think straight temporary.

-Stress may get a relationship to be over if his/her partner is not strong enough or understanding.

- May ruin any date/romantic activities.

- Decrease interest in sex life.

- Giving negative side effects on the other side.

As we can see that stress is not a good thing in relationship.

It causes more harm than good. So please, take your time out, get fit and also have a good rest. If you're having a frequently stress partner, and you're almost at your limit point near to giving up, here's the thing that you may want to do.

How to reduce stress:

Jasmine Tea

- In terms of diet, drink Jasmine Tea or Green Tea may help to reduce a friction of stress.

Green Vege!

-Have a healthy diet which consist of green vegetables. It contains the powerhouse or should i say the best vitamins that could help reduce stress dramatically and effectively.

Salmon

- Salmon is nice! It contains Omega-3 that could help in controlling your hormone level.

Spinach

-Popeye went ahead of us. He was never stress in the cartoon because he eats this! Haha.. Spinach contains magnesium which help your body to relax at ease.

Oranges and Citrus Food

-Vitamin C not only reduce stress but it is also an immune booster combo!

Almonds & Walnuts

-These babies are packed with Vitamin E and Vitamin B which boost your immune system and lower your blood pressure.

Sweet Potatoes

-Yes, some of you may not eat this a lot, but if you want to help your stressed out partner or yourself, please do try. Its jam-packed with beta-carotene, vitamins and fiber that really will help you out. I promise you that you'll see the difference.

Have a Nice Long Conversation

- Besides diet, there are few things that we could do, If you have a partner/spouse/ besties/ boyfriend/ girlfriend, have a nice long talk with them, borrow their ears and let it out what you feel inside of you. You'll thank heaven, after that you will absolutely feel better.

Go Out! Have Fun!

- You may choose from a thrilling roller coaster ride to a romantic dinner and movie,your choice! As long as you know that thing could make you happy and help your body injects adrenaline or happiness in you!

Sleep Early

-This is the problem with some people, they do not want to have sufficient rest which may cause them to a total burst of stress. For teenagers, it's best to have a good 9 hours sleep, for adults, an optimum 8 hours sleep is good enough.

Have a Healthy Lifestyle

- That's it! Get that fat-ass of yours moving! Go jogging! Go break some sweats! Recommended by the SILENCER, it's good to exercise a minimum of 45 minutes per day! I do that and I'm fit!

Care,Love and Support

- Show your partner that you absolutely care for them, show them the love that you really want them to see, and support them as much as they support you, eventually, the stress will disappear from both side! 2 in 1 ey! When you're stress at work, text them 'hey baby,i love you'. He/She will reply in such a sweet/touched manner.

Smile. It's a present!

-Never ever forget to smile. Instead of bursting out of stress, smile, it makes the world a better place. Generous people will smile back at you.

Listen to Calm and Slow Music (Preferred INSTRUMENTAL!)

- The song you're listening on this blog is a good example of STRESS-FREE music. Take it up! Do not listen to heavy techno, dubsteps or whatever fast heart pounding music, you'll get worst!

Do take note of all these,it'll help you out! It's a promise from me to you. I do this, and yes, i rarely have stress.

ATTENTION:

SILENCER is against stress. Say 'NO' to Stress, say 'YES' to Love!

Tip For the Day:

For the source of best nutrient enrich food in Malaysia, which includes fish that contains omega-3, green veges packed with goodness, and also meat enriched with the goodness of herbs with a dessert consist of fresh fruits and full of citrus goodness, you may wanna check on this website:

www.foodidea.blogspot.com

They have one article on a diner named Alan's Place located in SS15. It's my favorite diner because it serves healthy and balanced diet without ruining the textures and flavors! Amazing huh?

For those of you who lives in Malaysia, check this place out! Seriously! Do keep in mind the SILENCER does not promote for anyone. I am telling this because I RECOMMEND IT not PROMOTE! Here's the full details! 

Alan's Place

Location:

No.9 SS15/8B Subang Jaya

47500, Selangor Darul Ehsan,

Malaysia.

Beside Gold Chilli and Near to Darussalam.

Contact Details:

Alan( Shop Owner)

013-324-5005

On the next post if i have the chance,i'll upload a few pictures of the wholesome good food!

Love,

Silencer. <3

First Date:Outfit

Comb? Check! Belt? Check! Zip? Check! Hair? Need more wax!

You're going through this checklist before going out on a date?
Okay, there's really something that you need to know.

Today's topic: First Date:Outfit

Going out on a date doesn't mean that everything needs to be perfect, ups and down, left and right and inside out! Being too perfect may cause you a sense of awkwardness during the date.
It's fine to be in-trend with the latest style. It is not a crime to be very clean and smart looking. It's okay.. But never over do it as it may be bad for your reputation. Usually teenagers, are the ones who tend to do this. I mean like, 'i'm on a first date,woooooo! what should i wear, how do i style myself?!, what style should it be?!'. Then you're gonna spend 2 hours in front of a mirror just to choose an outfit!

Listen, you don't need to do all this s*it.
To make a first date very very sweet and meaningful, just be yourself. that's all. The best thing is, look clean and decent, a touch of style, a bit of wax would not hurt, and cologne or deo is never wrong. It's nothing personal, just personal hygiene. Shave before you go out and wear something casual and decent. Not wearing something too outrageous till you become the center of attraction!
Example:

(On the right, Chester See and left, Ryan Higa)

This is decency at it's best. Wear something like this or maybe a collar shirt will do. But do not wear this:

Errrrr? You're joking?
We understand how much you love fashion and you want to look cool. But what really matter is not you're outfit,it is not your hair which have 7 colors like rainbows. It's what inside of you. The way you make a girl laugh, the way you make someone happy and how you make her comfortable beside you. Not you're crazy outfit which make people wanna slap you sum bitch sideways.
Some of you may say, who care, this is what i am. Well let me tell you something, if you're on a date, you're going to say that, i'll slap the tastebuds out of your mouth so far you'll never get it back!
Don't think about yourself, but also think about your partner. How does she feel? Is she okay?
Cool?
That's all for today's topic. First Date:Outfit.

Love,
Silencer.

Space or A Time-Out?

Today's Topic will be:

Personal Space and Time-Out

First of all, we all know that personal space is so so so important.

Space must be divided according to priority and also which comes first basis. That is the thing that we all need to know. Personal space is much more important. It won't tear a relationship apart but it will get you and your partner closer by the moment without even you noticing it!

Assumption:

1) Some people no matter guy or girl might think that PERSONAL SPACE is being away from each other till break up occurs.

2) They always assume when partner says they need personal space, typical guy/girl will think that they are actually getting bored of you. (yeah whatever)

3) Personal Space = Never to be seen again.

Well readers, i personally would like to say that all of these 3 assumptions are wrong! Totally wrong! What do you need to actually know is:

Benefits of personal space:

-Personal space could really make a gap between the two of you, but this will make both of you miss each other even more when you don't see each other too much. The feeling of missing someone is getting stronger each day whenever he/she does not see you.

-Create space for friends and also family. Did you all know that Family comes first and more than any other human beings in your life? The list of priorities should be this way.

Family, Best Friends, then only Girlfriend/Boyfriend.

Surprised? Execta!!

Why? Because Family and Best Friends would never ever leave you. (Unless you screw things up, of course.) You priority percentage should be 50% on family 28% Best Friends and 22% Partner.

If you're married, then your partner is your family. Duh!

-Both you and your partner will feel the need to see each other.

Ever heard the word 'Something too much is not too good'?

It's true,when you see each other too much,you'll get bored easily. It's just a matter of time before a break up occurs. Therefore,please i repeat please,have some personal for each other.

Imagine, you're drinking a glass of apple juice every single day of your life, the first week maybe its nice to have it and you'll enjoy. Second week,still okay. But when it comes to the third week, you'll be happy to get an orange juice. Get what i mean?

-Personal space gives you the feeling of having to contact him/her. And it makes the word 'I Love You' and 'I Miss You' ten times much more valuable. Instead of you see her each day,and wishing the same old thing,its just...too old... What if you do not see her everyday,and then you say, 'hey dear,did you know i miss you?'.

See the difference? You really meant it! Something that comes within the purest heart and love!

Conclusion:

See,the space and time-out factor is important in a relationship.

I've already put up example and also few facts and benefits for all reader to consider or maybe apply. Because I've been through a relationship where i always stick to the girl.. And honestly,it was not that nice.. When i applied personal space concept..The relationship gets better each single day. Go ahead, Try it out.

But remember, Personal space does not mean you don't need to contact that person for weeks! it's a maximum of 3 days limit will do!

Spread the Love!

-Silencer

A Hot-Head Crap? Or a Strict Captain?

Today's Topic:

My partner is a hot head but he claims that he is being strict. Which one?

Answer:

Being strict and a hot-temp person is two different thing that may cause fortunate and unfortunate. By being strict,a man can actually control his lady in terms of being a nightly person to being a positive yet well made person. Strictness however,do have it's limit.

Strict doesn't mean control every move that the partner makes. But it suppose to be:

In example: 

Strict:

'My dear,I do not allow you to go out because it's too late and the urban city is not somewhere you should be at this moment.It might be dangerous.'

Not:

'Darling,I do not allow you to go out!'

See the difference between this two example given?

When you add reason to why you do not allow someone to go out it totally changes the whole thing. This differentiate you between a Hot Head and also a strict leader. As a guy,we do not have to control her freedom,we do not ban her from going out with her friend(s) because they are humans too. They have feelings and also their social needs. Some guys tend to be insecure with his partner resulting a very hard moment for him most of the time.

For a guy who doesn't have any trust nor confidence towards their partner may result to:

1) Always stops her from going out with her friends.

Reason:they are scare that the girl might see any other guy that she interested in.

2) Non-Stop chatting and texting. Keeping in contact almost 24/7.

Reason:They are afraid that you might lie to them about your whereabouts.

3)Stopping you from a reunion.

Reason: Maybe there's your previous crush or perhaps first love,so HELL NO for reunion.

4) Asking you to take evidence (photo/video) whenever you go out.

Reason: They scare of getting cheated.

There are plenty of other reasons that could be written,but i'm not going to do that as it is a lot! And yes,there are a lot of

To guys:

Please do have faith and trust in your lady. 81% of the women around the globe do not like to be cheated and will always stay loyal. Therefore,please do allow them to go out. BUT! Remember,be strict,not a Hot-Head! Do not control them too much,unless they are your wife,but still! they need friends too!

Only stop her from doing something when you have a super-good reason to it.

To Ladies:

Guys,we are also gentle at times,it is not that we want to stop you,it's just that we have our own fears at times.

You all must know that,we care for ladies because we love them.

We,guys,we do not want anything to happen to our partner.

Ladies shouldn't be afraid when we care for you,but be afraid when we tend to stop care for you.

At that point,there is no turning back. We will lose our love bit by bit towards the lady we love so dearly before.

A Path Chosen Well

One of my user from this blog,I wouldn't tell who or which question belongs to her/him, had made the right choice and now she is living her life to the maximum. That wonderful being is now so happy. So i'll just copy and paste what she emailed me under the honor of her request to post this up. A great person from Midland,Texas.

Dear Silencer,
i wish to tell you that i took your advice and i made a decision where i do not want to chase him anymore.
He left me hanging for so long and i followed your advice that you said between two decision,to make him come back or move on.and i chose  to MOVE ON. The left turn. xD
i want everyone to know and to whoever will read this blog someday. Please make full use of their wonderful service and also please do think and follow the steps what they gave. It is like we are talking to our teacher or talking to a guy which is a 100 years old. They have so many experience and i am thankful that our path crossed. i am thankful,i posted to them that i was hurt and also i was in pain,i do not know what to do. i cant think well and i cant even do anything.i was unable to make my next move.Thanks to them,at first i feel better after i read,it was a bit painful no doubt,but after they told me to relax,they told me to think. And slowly few days after that,i start to think,deeply. And i realized,its true,i dont need a guy who cheats on me,there a so many guys out there who is better than him.. Now im single and i can talk to any guys and i can spend more time with my friends and family.it is true what Silencers said,we will feel better.
As for today,i vow to choose a guy perfectly,i will wait for a while to know that guy better and be careful with whom i choose. I want to say thanks to everyone in the silencer team. you all can count on them to help with your problems.

Love,
XXXXXXXXX

*p/s: Please post this up so that i could share the world my happiness and how did i achieve it.

Reply:
We are more than happy to help you. Please do know that the main objective of this blog is to create a better world. I,the silencer,been through a lot,and i mean a lot of relationship problems.ups and downs.
And I never want the rest of the world to feel the same way that i did. That's why I start this blog. What do you feel when no one is around you to help you stand up,what do you feel when you cannot think what is the best think to do. I know how hard it is to face it,and sometimes we need to find the right person to talk to.
That will give you advice and make you think. We wouldn't make the decision for you,but we will give the best option among all.
It was a pleasure to help you,thank you so much for your wonderful testimony. Do contact us again!

-From,
Silencer.

As He Fades Away

''Listen Baby Girl,

You Know That I'll Never Give You Away,

Will I Ever Stop Waiting No Way,

It'll Be The Same In My World,

I'm Your Boy,You're My Girl.''

- JUN.K

Question:

At the end of May, I ran into my high school sweetheart that I dated 6 years ago. We dated for four a half years while in high school and broke up before I went to college in another city. Well, I ran into him at the end of May and we instantly hit it off. My situation is a little complicated because I am a 23 year old single mom now. And I am not what society thinks of as a "young, single mom" . I am in anesthesia school to become a nurse anesthesist and have my priorities in line. Anyways, we started talking and hanging out after we ran into each other. He told me he had really strong feelings for me and wanted to see where things went. I felt really uneasy at the time about getting into a relationship. I have always thought that it would be a challenge for me to find someone who was accepting of my situation at my age of 23. So I explained to him that I was not looking for a relationship but I would enjoy hanging out. A week later after a date he tells me that he loves me, and to be honest, I loved him too. I could see a future with him, if he went back to school and finished up college (because I have worked very hard and that is a deal breaker to me), and quit his bad habit of smoking cigarettes. But I was in love with his personality and the way he treated me. Well, we had a wonderful summer together and were able to spend a lot of time together because my son's father had him a lot during the summer. After dating him for a month, I decided that I felt that he was serious enough about me to meet my son. He was so wonderful with him and many times would come over and just spend time hanging out with the two of us as if there was no where else he would rather be. He even invited my son and I to go to his lake house with him for the day while his family was there, which I thought was pretty remarkable, because I was worried he would be embarrassed or scared to bring my child and me around them. He finally asked if we could make this a relationship, and I said yes .. because he had won my trust. Once summer ended, my school semester started back up and I haven't had a ton of time to devote to him. In fact, we were only seeing each other 2-3 days a week, but it was working out ok and he said that yes it was hard, but it was worth trying. Well, last Monday night, he was acting a little sketchy. He usually calls me when he gets off of work and before he goes to bed, but he didn't. So I texted him, and he explained that he had one of his friends over from work to play video games. I stayed up just to work on school and really because I thought I might hear from him. Well, at 1:30 am when I hadn't heard anything, I tried calling him. No answer. So I left a message, saying "You are being so sketchy! I hope you do the right thing and call me tomorrow!" but I didn't say it in a mean, or "your in trouble" tone, I say the word "sketchy" all the time, and to be honest it was more of a joke than anything. I mean I wasn't REALLY worried that he was doing anything bad, I was more just wanting to talk to my boyfriend to be honest. Well, I got a call back from him thirty minutes later explaining he had fallen asleep on the couch accidently. I just said "mm hmm." He asked if I was mad. I said, no, that I am just used to hearing from him and I stayed up to see if he was going to call and was sad when he didn't. Well suddenly, a side of my boyfriend that I had never heard came out and said "I don't understand why you have been chewing me out for thirty minutes." He sounded really mad. I said, "30 minutes? More like 30 seconds and I am not chewing you out." I was SO calm. I got irritated and just said, Ill talk to you tomorrow, and I hung up. Well the next day I never heard from him (he usually texts me in the morning) so that night once I got out of school I called him and he didn't answer. So I texted him and said, "I am not sure what is going on but I would really appreciate if we could discuss it. If your feelings have changed then ok, but we need to settle this one way or the other so lets please talk about it." He said back, "Im not sure what is going on, last night just made me start thinking about what I need in my life right now. Thats not saying that I don't want to be with you, I am just trying to figure things out." Well, at the time I had nothing to say so I let it go for the night. The next night I said, "I am sorry for overreacting on Monday. I love you." And got no answer. The next day I didn't text him at all. Then on Friday, I said "Can we please talk about this? I am just so confused." No answer. So then I tried calling, and left a voicemail about how I would be sad if it was over, and certainly hoped we could work on things, but I would much rather him just tell me then keep dragging it out and that I would be ok either way. I told him that I didn't know if we were still together or not, and have just been confused by all of this. I haven't heard anything from him since and I am literally going crazy. I have know him since I was 14 ... Have had so many life experiences with him from being young and in love to doing things with my son, and talking about me having his kids, and taking me to pick out a puppy for him with him. Is the fact that he isn't responding to me enough for me to tell myself that it must be over? Please PLEASE tell me how to handle this. Im broken hearted.



Dear Viewers,first of all.i am so sorry i've been out for quite some time.i was busy handling few stuffs along the way..there's another 9 unanswered emailed.But no worries,i'll handle one by one.

K for this one.



Answer:

Hey..how are you my dear? Are you okay? Hope you will be after reading this.
First of all..Why do you want to think about others opinion?
We can never judge people that way. So what if the society think. You are who you are. You're no one else but yourself.do you want to be someone else? Wearing a mask is not a good thing.. Because people won't accept you for who you really are. Be brave,have some self-confidence in yourself! Every morning you walk to that mirror and say,'i am who i am!'. Even if the society rejects you,there will always be a group of people who truly loves you for who you are.

Moving on:
''So I explained to him that I was not looking for a relationship but I would enjoy hanging out.''
This was the trigger that sets everything on. We may say that we are uneasy for the first few times,but after a while we feel comfortable don't we? Even I myself,the first few times was hard,but at last I feel so comfortable with someone. It's a normal situation. My dear,are you sure that he will quit smoking? If you trust him with all there is,then it's okay,but if you feel a bit shaky..might as well don't ask him to promise something that he can never do. ATTENTION TO ALL READERS! (Tips: Smoking is bad for health!)
I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed summer with him..I'm sure memories will be there all the time.
You see,when you are too used to see each other,even a tiny separation will give a big impact on both of you. You spent the whole summer with him, but when the semester begins,it's a bit awkward because it was not like how you started.This one,you have to handle it pace by pace. Slowly or gradually reduce. But do not over reduce it! It'll be futile of course.


How to handle this:
First of all,do you know the rules of love? If we chase or tend to get closer to someone too much,that he/she will run away. But if we tend to just stay calm and relax and not finding him,he'll come to us.
From the way I see things,sweety,he has these symptoms of 'cheating'. I never say its true and i never say its wrong. But I cannot avoid the feeling that he is cheating on you.

You need to know this,a guy that have someone else behind you have this:
1) When you text him,he'll reply without any interest or he'll reply a neutral answer.
2) He doesn't text you much like how he used to be. BUT! this may be excused if he has a new job/position/continuing his studies.
3)He will gradually decrease in interest to text you or even call.
4) He's sketchy!
5)Woman will have this sense that something is wrong somewhere. ONLY WOMAN!
6) He doesn't reply or he'll just reply 'busy text later'. Then you wait,nothing comes in your mobile.
7)Lastly,HE FADES (it means he doesn't find you anymore)


Next,DO NOT i repeat DO NOT show that you're weak! Do not show you're mentally stressed,it'll just strive them away slowly. But! if you show that you are strong,then there's chances that he wants you back.
I know..ladies are being of emotion,they are soft and gentle..But no matter what everyone should be strong!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! - Kelly Clarkson
Just let him be for the time being,do not text him,do not call just for two to three days.

CROSSROADS:
If he finds you,then talk to him.
If he doesn't finds you,test him by telling,'that's it,i cannot take this anymore!'
Then you can write all the memories that both of you had with your son during summer.
you must write with an expression that it'll be the last message. DO NOT SHOW ANY SAD SMILEY FACE! and please,i beg please,write it with your heart even if it will make you cry while you're writting it.
Lastly,I'll be straight to the point for you my dear,
The conclusion is either,he is going to be chasing back for you. OR he won't reply a single thing. It means he already have someone else.
Keep me updated,we here always have plenty of time to handle this matter.


Most important:
1)Stay calm
2)Think straight
3) Always hang out with your other friends to keep you at least smiling.
4)Have faith in him for the time being
5)Be positive that he'll come back to you.
6)Be stronger and improve yourself.
7)Spend more time with the others around you.
8)Avoid thinking of him too much.
9) Be yourself and don't show you're sad to others (except close friends and family)
10) The most important people who would be your support now is Friends and Family.

Your son...I'm sure he never wants to see his mom sad..He loves you so much as you're the mom.
I'm sure you love him as well..Ever wonder when your son ask 'mommy why are you crying..'.
It'll be so touching. So keep your faith up!
You are a strong mom,a strong single mom that know what she is capable of doing.
Never let any man bring you down,because there is no man that could be as strong as a single mom.


With love and soul,
-Your personal consultant.
Contact me Via kaminaridestiny@gmail.com